Inviting Spam

It's always a matter of time before cool things become popular and uncool. I am not trying to sound like the guy that listened to "The All-American Rejects" before they sold out or watched "Family Guy" before it was cancelled and came back because it became trendy to watch old episodes. No, I am speaking purely on the fact that once something gets to the point where it attracts a massive audience, advertisers pounce on it like a thirteen-year-old girl at boy scout camp.

Awesome Internet sites are the latest victim of invasion from capitalist conglomerates. Ebay used to be cool. Remember when Ebay was only independent individuals buying and selling their useless garage-sale-worthy trinkets? Now, if you search for "Ray-Ban Sunglasses," for instance, you will find hundreds of products from Sun-Glass Hut, Sun Shade and Surf Shops.



I didn't come to Ebay to find new, normally priced sunglasses! I want cheap, second hand, chipped up, used shades.

My latest experience of this phenomenon came from a different source. The Major League Baseball All Star Game is in Saint Louis this week and I realllllly wanted to go but definitely did not want to spend $400. I dropped by the cyber garage sale that is Craig's List.

Craig's List followed Ebay and used the nifty tactic of having a 1980's interface and limited advertising in order to scare the private businesses away. It didn't work. Search for All-Star game tickets and you will see messages like this:

"It's going to rain tonight and I had someone give their ticket up. I need to get rid of it! Send me a message if you want it for less than face. I will meet you at the stadium."

The trick got me at least four times. I would get all excited, send a message to the standard Craig's List anonymous email address and get responses like this (actual response):

"Yes, you can get my ticket now in http://speedy-tickets.com/ResultsTicket.aspx?evtid=884175&event=2009+MLB+Run+Derby
All details of my tickets are in the link, nice meting you."

So much for picking it up at the stadium. Guess you are not a real person. Damn.

I am sure there was a time that people could post their resume on MONSTER.COM and receive actual emails from actual employers who wanted to pay someone to do an actual job. Now, 90% of the responses are like this:

"Earn $2000 a day by sitting on your ass from home! All you need is a telephone and a computer. Mary did it: 'I used to go to work everyday for 9 hours and make $1000 dollars a week. Now, after 6 short months working from home, I'm a multi-millionaire!' "

What's next? I am not looking forward to the day that a guy posts his profile on MATCH.COM, finds cutie: "Sarah, a paralegal who lives downtown and is just looking for someone to hang out with," finds the courage deep down to send her a message, sits at his computer anxiously awaiting a response, and receives this two hours later in his inbox:

"It looks like you are in need of a companion. Try a pet! Stop by the Pet Connection on your way home and pick up a furry friend! We can make your match today for $19.99."

Not exactly the Sarah I was looking for.