How Rude!

"HI. WE ARE TRYING TO RECRUIT.......jerk."

Please. If you encounter someone handing out flyers while you are walking by, do them a favor and take it. They probably don't care what you do with it. Take it out of their hand, say thank you and throw it away. Is it that hard?

One of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg (may he rest in peace) said:

“Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it’s kinda like they’re saying, ‘Here—you throw this away.’”

Yes, funny. But very, very true. People that hand out flyers are still people. Unless they are completely oblivious, they understand that they are being invasive to your right to walk on the sidewalk and get where you are going.

My job requires me to occasionally attend events to recruit volunteers for our programs. I am not in charge of recruiting (God, no) but events like the concert last night require some extra man-power. Of the ten percent of people that would let me get my opening line out of my mouth, I had some hysterical responses.

Blake: Hi. We are trying to recruit volunteers to work in the Saint Louis Public Schools and help children with their reading and math.
Elderly Lady: Oh, I'm too old.

Huh?

Blake: Hi. We are trying to recruit...
Elderly Lady 2: Oh, is that in the city?
Blake: (biting my sarcastic tongue.) Yes, the Saint Louis Public Schools.
Elderly Lady 2: Oh, we don't go to the city.
Blake: What do you mean?
Elderly Lady 2: We live in Kirkwood.

Noooooo kidding? Seriously??? I couldn't tell by all the signs that say, "Welcome to Kirkwood." Hey guys, we should go. Did you know we are in Kirkwood? We have to be, hmmm, I would say...8-10 minutes away from Saint Louis.

Blake: Hi, we are trying to recruit...
Man: Ha! You want ME to mentor a child.
Lady standing next to him: Hahaha. He can't even mentor his own children.

Guess I'm the idiot.

Blake: Hi, we are trying to recruit...
Dude with a drink: How much do I get paid?
Blake: Oh, it is just a volunteer service opportunity.
Dude: Oh, forget that.

VOL-UN-TEEEEEER.

I spend about an hour and a half as a lesser-being to rich white folk and meander my way back over to our sign up table. 2 people have signed their information. TWO. Our volunteer recruiter, David, later says to me, "If those two people eventually become mentors or tutors, that's time well spent."

Seriously? I do not envy that guy.

I make my way back to the car, feet tired, shoulders slumped to the ground and glance over to the trash can. Dozens of 4" x 3" "MENTORS AND TUTORS NEEDED!" flyers piled on top of empty beer bottles and burrito wrappers.

Hopefully they said thank you.